Moving with Children

One of the unfortunate myths about relocation says that school age children should not be moved until summer. Many families have undergone considerable inconvenience just to avoid a school-year move. But, according to the AMSA, a summertime move may cause more problems than it solves.

Since school is a primary source for making friends, a summertime move will place your child in unfamiliar surroundings at a time when his chances for making friends are at a minimum. When school opens in September, he enters the first day chaos as a stranger. The teacher, meanwhile, facing a new class, will not be able to identify his discomfort and need for special attention.

A move during the school year, on the other hand, allows your child to go directly from one social setting into another. He's new, so his classmates - and more importantly, the teacher pay attention to him.

Curricula in the elementary grades in particular are flexible enough to allow school transfer with a minimum of academic problems. High school curricula are generally more structured, which might cause some transitional academic difficulties. However, these difficulties would be a problem in September in the case of a summertime move. The uncertain academic drawbacks of relocation during the school year should be weighed against the social problems a summer move is almost certain to cause.
Bear in mind that whatever the reasons behind it, moving will represent a big change for all members of the family. Emotional fatigue and confusion can cause emotions to run high and tempers to run short. Prior preparation will enable your whole family to better handle the crises that relocation can precipitate.

Here are several ideas for making the transition as smooth as possible for your children:

• Include the children in making plans for the move. For example, take them with you, if possible, when you go hunting for your new house or apartment.
  
• If you are moving to a distant place, help your children learn about the new area. Moving companies, the local chamber of commerce, tourist bureaus, and state agencies are possible sources of information. Visit your local library.
  
• By using dolls, boxes, and a wagon, children can get a feeling for the concept of moving through play-acting.
  
• Let the children help decide how their new rooms are to be arranged and decorated.
  
• Take the time to make a last visit to places your family is particularly fond of.
  
• Encourage the children to exchange addresses with their new friends. If practical, give thought to allowing them to have their old friends visit them at the new home. A telephone call to an old friend is a low-cost way to relieve post-move depression.
  
• Prepare a package for each child containing favorite toys, clothing, and snacks. Label it with the child's name.
  
• Survey your new home for loose steps, low overhangs, and other possible accident-producers. Keep your eye on the children until they become familiar with the new home's peculiarities.
  
• Take a break with the family as soon as the major unpacking is done. Don't try to do everything as soon as you arrive.
  
• Both parents should spend time with all their children after the move, listening to what they've learned about the new school, new friends.
  
• The first few weeks in a new school may be difficult for your child. Follow this progress closely and if any problems increase or don't go away with time, don't hesitate to visit with his teacher. Accompanying your child to school the first few days may ease both his and your mind.
  
• If you are moving to a radically different environment - rural to urban, or vice versa - caution your children about the new situations they will face.

You will move many valuable possessions when you change addresses, but none will be as precious as your children. Give them the attention they deserve and need.